Because of Him Ch 9

Because of Him Chapter 9
By: Dizappearingirl (2015)

Summary: It was his job. It was what he did. It was all he thought half-ghosts were allowed to do. But then he meets her and everything changes. His world expands. His memories begin to return. And he remembers. Remembers who he was, what happened to him, and who was responsible (AU)

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Chapter 9: Promises Between Friends

Tucker

“Tucker, where’s Danny?”

“I…”

“Where is he? Where’s my son?!”

“I don—I don’t know!”

I tried to shove the memory away, push it into the back of my mind where it couldn’t get out. At least not while I was conscious. But the images kept finding ways into my mind. Mr. and Mrs. Fenton’s frantic faces, red and blue flashing lights, Jazz crying at the kitchen table, police officers with a million questions, a green glow filtering through a smoke filled lab…

I propelled myself into the boy’s bathroom, the door slamming into the wall behind it. No. No, no, NO! I wasn’t going to think about this. Not now while I was at school, not when I had class to go to in a few minutes, not today. I couldn’t do this today. I promised myself I’d only allow these memories to resurface on the anniversary. Of course I’d slip up, but if I did I had to push them back. I had to try to move on.

Because Danny wasn’t coming back.

I guess that wasn’t a proven fact. Technically there had never been a body. And it had only been two years so technically they couldn’t declare him dead. But I saw him vanish. I heard his screams. I felt… More memories rose up and I forced them back down. No. Not today.

I turned my head to the right, catching sight of my reflection in the mirror over the sinks. I looked sick. I felt sick. Maybe I could use that as an excuse to skip next hour…but that meant going to the nur…the nur… I gulped. Okay, the place where people are supposed to get help when they’re sick. That place. Yeah. I felt a sweat break out on my brow that had nothing to do with what happened two years ago.

…I’d rather go to class.

The only problem was that meant facing Sam. I really didn’t want to. I knew she’d have a dozen questions and she’d want answers to all of them and more. If I avoided her next class she’d just badger me in the halls. I was pretty good at fending her off but it took a lot of effort—and there was no way she’d let what I just said slide. I grimaced at that slip up. I hadn’t meant to tell her that about Danny. Even if I felt it was true.

But I’d have to deal with whatever she threw at me. Not only because skipping class wasn’t really an option, but because I had something to say to her too. I had to talk to her about this ghost—Phantom, she called it. The idea of her going over there every night had made me uneasy, but I had held back. I was her friend, not her father. She could make her own decisions. But I drew the line at any hint of danger. There had been more than a hint of that in what she told me today. I had to convince her to stop.

I took a deep breath just as the bell rang outside the bathroom door. I had to do it. I had to convince her. Yeah, this was going to be fun.

I barely made it to class on time and didn’t have the chance to speak to Sam beforehand. She looked up at me as I sat down next to her. We exchanged a “we need to talk” look and then attempted to listen to Mr. Lancer drone on about the Renaissance and how it influenced modern playwriting or something. The class dragged on at such a slow pace I was sure the clock had stopped moving. It allowed me to calm down, which was both helpful and not. I didn’t want to lose my sense of urgency, though it did help me to think about things with a steadier mind.

As soon as the bell rang I leaned towards Sam, who was already packing her bag. “Sam,” I began. She looked up at me expectantly.

I inhaled and let it go in a gust. “Sorry I ran out.”

Half her mouth turned up in a smile. “It’s okay, Tuck. I pushed when I shouldn’t have.” I didn’t reply to this. Half of me agreed but the other half understood why. I just didn’t want to give her what she wanted—not if I was going to keep those memories at bay.

The smile faded from her face and was replaced with uncertainty. “Tuck…” she hesitated, and then asked softly, “did he really die?” I knew she would ask, but that didn’t stop the pain from that question from hitting me. I closed my eyes briefly. I really wanted to ignore the question, but I couldn’t take back what I had said earlier. It was a little too late for that. I nodded.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice colored with sympathy.

I sighed, the response all too familiar. “Yeah,” I mumbled.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

Frowning, I grabbed my notebook and stuffed it in my backpack. “It’s not exactly something I like talking about, if you haven’t guessed.”

Sam stood up between our desks, though I didn’t know what expression she wore as I had yet to meet her eyes. “Yeah, got that,” she dryly replied. “But you could’ve told me.”

“Why? What good does that do?” I grumbled. It was what everyone expected me to do after it happened. Talk about it. Let my feelings out, or whatever. It will help me feel better, they said. I’m not sure I believed that. I admit that talking to people who cared about Danny was okay, but how did you explain the loss you were facing to people who didn’t know him? How did that help? Besides, I didn’t want to relive those events. I didn’t want to think about what happened in that lab. Talking about that would only hurt everyone more than it would help.

“Well, if I knew about it, I would handle things differently.” I looked up and met Sam’s eyes. She had leaned against her desk, watching me intently. Did she mean that? Would she have changed how she acted? Would she even have wanted to be around me?

“Exactly why I don’t like to tell people,” I retorted, turning my gaze away towards the rest of the classroom, which was now empty. Sam sighed.

“Tucker, I didn’t mean that I would have been different around you—I mean, I would, but not like that! I would just get it, y’know? I would understand what you’re feeling—“

“---you wouldn’t understand.” I gave her a hard look. “You couldn’t possibly understand.”

She raised her hands in front of her, looking both apologetic and offended. “Okay, fine. I just meant that now I finally get why you are so upset sometimes. I just wish you had been willing to tell me sooner. Maybe I could’ve helped or something.”

I shook my head, but didn’t say anything in return. I didn’t want to continue this discussion. It would only make me more upset, which would distract from what I was trying to do. I stood up and slung my bag over my shoulder.

Turning towards her, I said, “You shouldn’t go back to that warehouse.” She had mimicked my movement with her own backpack, but then paused at my statement. Her eyes flicked towards mine and then away.

She pressed her lips together and asked, “Why not?”  

“Because it sounds like it could be—”  

“—Dangerous?” she finished for me. “Yeah, you’ve said that before.”

“Because I mean it,” I told her, giving her a serious look. “If you go poking your nose in something ghostly…” I trailed off but finished silently, you could end up like my friend. I looked away, and took a few steps towards the classroom exit, expecting her to follow.

“Then what?” Sam asked. I paused and twisted back around. “If I go back to that warehouse, what’s gonna happen?”

I narrowed my eyes at the stubborn tenseness in her voice and stance. “You might get hurt,” I warned her. “It could go real bad real quick.” Her expression didn’t change and I continued, “You can’t trust it. Ghosts are unpredictable. And let’s not forget that you’re going to some abandoned building every night where you’re all alone.”  

Instead of changing her mind, my words only made her scowl. “Phantom is not dangerous. Not him. And I can take care of myself!”

“What happens when he turns on you? Or something goes wrong and you’re on your own all the way out there?”  

“Nothing’s gonna happen,” she crossed her arms. “And Phantom wouldn’t do that!”

“How do you know?”

“Because he’s my friend!”

“Ghosts aren’t friends!” I snarled back.  

“How would you even know, huh?” she said challengingly. “You won’t go near anything that has to do with them!”

“Because all they do is hurt people!” I countered.

Sam’s scowl deepened. “That’s not true. I know that’s not true.”

“Yeah?” I returned her look with a glare of my own.”Well I know there’s a dark side to this ghost stuff that you haven’t seen yet. I’ve seen it! It’s not all fun and games, Sam!”

A funny look crossed her face, wiping away her anger, and her eyes slid away from mine. “Yeah, well,” she muttered, the conviction gone from her voice, “Doesn’t mean he’s not my friend.” I paused, my own passion stilling at the change in her demeanor. Why was she saying it like that? Was she admitting that something had happened last night?  

“Sam—“ the shrill ring of the bell interrupted me. We both looked up and then back at each other. Sam pressed her lips together and then moved to pass me. We had used all of our break time and now we were heading to separate classes. I couldn’t let it end on that note. “Sam, what happened?” I questioned, but she kept walking.

I followed and, as expected, she twisted to the left as soon as we were out of the classroom, the opposite direction I needed to go. “Sam!” I tried again, my tone demanding. She paused and tilted her head slightly towards me, though she didn’t turn around.

“I’m late for class,” she said. “I’ll talk to you later.” She then continued on her way. I watched her for a few seconds, tempted to go after her but knowing it would do little good. Sam could be just as stubborn as me. I reluctantly steered myself towards my class. My thoughts, though, remained on my best friend—my newer best friend—and the tension of the last few minutes continued to brew anxiously inside me. If I had wondered before that something may have happened, I definitely didn’t anymore. It seemed pretty clear to me that Sam was playing with fire. And if she wasn’t going to stop, then I would have to make her.

Before it was too late.

Before I let another friend get hurt.

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Sam

I snuck up to the door of the warehouse, checking my surroundings carefully before opening it and slipping in. I pulled it shut behind me and then unzipped my bag and drew out my flashlight. I turned it on with a click, the beam spilling onto the ground at my feet.

“Phantom?” I called softly. I waited with slight trepidation. Which Phantom would meet me? The green-eyed or the red-eyed one? What would I do if it was the latter? I didn’t know if I could handle that two nights in a row…

A few seconds later there was a puff of cold air and he appeared in front of me. “Sam,” he said, his tone obviously relieved. There was also some surprise mixed in. “You came back.”

“Of course I did,” I gave him a smile, relief sinking through me as I saw his eyes. Green. Good.

“And I brought food,” I added, indicating my backpack. He returned the smile shakily and then followed me as we went to our usual spot. I jumped up on the crate and set my backpack on my lap, feeling a little giddy now that I knew that I was dealing with the normal Phantom. Despite my adamant stance earlier today when I had argued with Tucker, I hadn’t been nearly as confident as I made the trip here. What if Tucker had been right? But now those concerns seemed less intimidating. Now they seemed conquerable.

“I hope you’re awake tonight ‘cause I’m going to be asking you a lot of questions,” I warned him as I unloaded the snacks. He dropped onto the crate next to mine.

“You always ask a lot of questions,” he replied, still smiling slightly. Then he yawned. “B-but,” he tried to continue, “I’m kinda tired. I’ll try to answer them.”

I paused and studied him with a frown. “Have you slept yet? You said you sleep every day. I don’t know what it does to a ghost but for humans it can kill you if you don’t sleep enough.”

“I slept for a few hours today,” he assured, but his smile faded and his eyebrows drew together.

That was an interesting reaction…but I didn’t know how to ask about it, so I simply said, “That’s good.” I offered him a bag of chips, which he accepted and then grabbed an apple for myself.

He examined the chip bag, his expression thoughtful. “I…I’m glad you’re here.” He looked up at me, his forehead still creased. “I knew you promised, but I…” he trailed off, his gaze sliding to the side.

I wasn’t sure exactly what he was going to say, but I had a pretty good idea what it was about. “I’m not afraid of you, Phantom,” I told him again. “I’ll admit you spooked me a bit, but I knew that wasn’t you. That was…something else.”

He took a deep breath. “It was like…I was me, but I wasn’t. I can remember now, what I did. Not all of it, but pieces.”

“Do you know what made you that way?”

He shrugged and shook his head. “All I remember is h—“ he shut his mouth, his eyes widening for a moment.

“What?” I asked.

He shook his head again. “I…I can’t.” The way he said it, I could tell he was about to clam up again, but I couldn’t let him do that.

“Phantom, I can’t help you figure this out if you don’t tell me.” I leaned over, trying to catch his eyes. He turned his head away, refusing to look at me.

“Come on, Phantom,” I pressed. “Just tell me.” Ugh, how many times was I going to have to say those words? He fiddled with the bag of chips but didn’t say anything. His forehead was scrunched up as if he was thinking hard. I opened my mouth to say more and then decided to just sit back and remain quiet instead. Maybe if I just gave him a second…  

It took him almost a full minute but then he spoke. “I…” his voice wavered. “I want to tell you, but I shouldn’t.”

He glanced my way and then back down before continuing, “But I want to understand why I changed. I don’t want to feel that way again. I…” He squeezed the bag of chips and it crinkled in protest.

“If I tell you, you can’t tell anyone. You have to keep it a secret. Keep it in the shadows.” I raised an eyebrow at the last phrase but didn’t say anything, trying to give him time.

“You have to,” he hesitated and then seemed to force the words out, “protect them.”

When he didn’t elaborate, I asked, “Protect what?”

“Them,” he looked at me seriously. “The people I protect.” I blinked. He had admitted it. I had already guessed this was the case, but he actually admitted it! Maybe now I’d finally get some answers.

“Who are they?”

He shook his head swiftly.

“Phantom…”

“You can’t know any more. I shouldn’t even be talking about them. I have to protect them. That’s my job,” he was agitated now and stood up, still holding the bag. He began to pace. “But…but you’re nice. You won’t tell people about them, right? You wouldn’t?” He paused and gave me an imploring look.

“Uh, well no, except—“ I began but he cut me off.

“—Because if you don’t then maybe I can talk about them. Maybe that would be okay. It wouldn’t…it wouldn’t put them in danger, right?” This question seemed directed at himself, besides he didn’t give me time to answer.

“I have to protect them. I have to keep people away, but I didn’t keep you away,” he had one hand to his head now, rubbing his forehead. “But that’s okay if you don’t. If you keep them a secret.” He stopped and rubbed his head harder, his eyes shut tight.

I took advantage of the lull. “I can keep a secret,” I told him, “but only if it’s a good reason.”

“It is,” he replied swiftly, his gaze swinging up towards me.

“Because…?”

He seemed baffled by the question. “Because it’s my job. I have to keep them safe.”

“But why? Why do you do your job?”

Phantom blinked, still looking a little puzzled. “Because,” he hesitated, his expression changing to something I couldn’t quite name. “Because he needs me.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. It was almost like my words were being thrown back at me. Tucker had basically asked me the same thing and I had given him the same answer. Phantom needed me and apparently these people he was with needed him. I couldn’t argue with that.

“Okay,” I accepted. “I’ll keep them a secret. I won’t tell anyone.”

His shoulders relaxed and he smiled. “Thanks, Sam.”

“You’re welcome,” I smiled back but it was brief. A trickle of foreboding had crept down my spine as soon as I had accepted and I couldn’t hold the look. I ducked my head to hide this fact and tried to force the feeling away.  

After a moment of composure, I shifted my position to face him more directly. “So, what can you tell me?”

He walked back to his crate, setting the chips onto it. “The last thing I remember…it was him—one of them. He was reminding me…of my job.”

A million questions bloomed in my head at that one statement but I forced myself to keep it simple. “Okay, and then?”

“Then…then I was with you,” he peeked at me before adding, “I remember some other stuff now but that was how it was at first. Just him and then you. But then I remembered what happened between. Well,” he amended, “some of it.”  

“When were you with this guy?”

“The day after you came and you went in the back. You said it was Saturday…so Sunday?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. Sunday? I had come back Monday night so that had been almost two days! Once again I had to push back a swarm of questions and just choose one. “Okay, so did this guy doing anything, um, different? Maybe he did something to make you be that way.”

Phantom frowned. “No,” he said but then he tilted his head to the side. “I…don’t think so.” The frown grew and he looked to the back wall. “There was…” he whispered. If he finished that sentence I couldn’t hear it.

“What?” I scooted closer to him. He turned back to me.

“No,” he shrugged. “Never mind.”

“Come on,” I prodded. “What?”

He shook his head. “No, it was just something else.”

“But you can tell me anyways,” I tried. He pressed his lips together and I could see the stubbornness in his eyes. It was the same look Tucker gave me when I tried to learn about his friend. I knew that look; it meant I wasn’t going to get an answer. I sighed and decided to let it go…for now.

“So,” I looked up at the ceiling, my eyes tracing over the skeletal frame of the rafters. “Let’s recap. You are protecting these people...” I paused as something occurred to me. “Who are not here right now. Where are they? They’ve never been here at night.”

“They are here during the day,” he explained, “but they leave at night.”

“Okay…” I tried to refocus. “Okay, so they come here during the day and you protect them. At night you stay here to…” I gave him a pointed look.

“To protect them.”

“But they’re not here.”

“I still have to keep this place safe,” he replied simply.

“Guess that makes sense…” And, as I had guessed before, that must include keeping those papers safe too.

“Alright, so Sunday you are with one of them, this guy—what’s his name?”

During our conversation he had sat back up on the crate and picked up the bag of chips again. He was about to open it but, when I asked that question, he froze. That expression I had seen before, the unreadable one, returned.

“I don’t say his name,” he said, his voice almost too quiet to hear.

“Why not?”

His brows drew together. “I don’t say any of their names. I have to keep them safe.” The way he spoke made it sound like there was more to that statement, but he didn’t add anything else. I waited for a few seconds and then carried on.

“So you’re with this guy and then suddenly you feel different and you don’t really remember anything—except now you do—but you didn’t remember anything until I was with you,” I took a breath and then asked, “Sound right?”

He nodded. We both were quiet for a while. Phantom finally opened the bag and began to snack on the contents. I swung my legs back and forth, thinking through our conversation. I had learned a lot, but there were still a lot of questions. What had happened to Phantom between the time he was this man and then with me. What had made him different and changed his eyes to red? Or who? If it was a person, it sounded like it could only be these people Phantom was with, but he protected them. Why would they do that to him if he was their protector? And would Phantom really not remember them doing something to him?

Before I could ponder it further a new thought made me stop. I had been here a while. What time was it? I dug out my phone and checked the clock. "Oh crap!” I jumped to my feet.

“What?” Phantom asked, alarmed by my sudden change.

“I’m late! Why didn’t my alarm go off? Crap!” I started shoving my stuff back into my backpack. “I gotta go.”

“Okay,” Phantom still looked concerned, but attempted to give me a half-smile. “See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I can come,” I replied as I hurried over to the door. He followed behind me like a shadow.  I then turned to him and felt a pang of worry. I needed to go but I hated to leave him so abruptly. He seemed much better than last night but I could still see the circles under his eyes. He had also still appeared a little…shaken. I wanted to make him feel a little better, especially now that I was leaving in a rush. What could I do?

It came to me quickly and before I could lose my nerve I went for it. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him in a hug. He stiffened. “Be safe, okay?” I whispered. And then I let go and left, a blush burning across my cheeks.

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Tucker

The ringing of the home phone was shrill and sudden, making me jump in my desk chair and fingers slam on my keyboard. The game I had been playing froze with an angry error message and I gave a quiet curse under my breath. What was the phone doing ringing this late at night?

Another ring followed closely behind before cutting off mid-trill. Someone had picked it up—probably my mom. I waited, faint curiosity and my game’s reboot time keeping me from continuing what I had been doing. There was a long minute or so of silence and then I heard my mother call up, “Tucker!”

Raising my eyebrows at the further surprise, I stood up, left my room, and looked down the stairs where I knew my mother would be standing. “What?”

She flicked her eyes towards the wireless handset pressed against her ear, her other hand covering the mouthpiece. “Mrs. Manson on the phone. She’s asking if Sam is still here. I don’t remember her coming over today.”

Another pang of surprise crossed my face. Sam wasn’t home? But it was past her curfew. My gaze darted up to our clock on the wall nearby. Way past her curfew. If she hadn’t come home yet…was she still visiting her ghost? But she knew better than to stay there this long. Did that mean she was in danger? Had the ghost done something to her?

“Tucker?” my mother’s forehead creased in confusion at my lack of response.

“Uh…” I swallowed, my mind now filling with images of Sam lying on the concrete floor of that decrepit warehouse or sinking down in the cold water beyond the docks… I blinked hard a few times to force those away. I could be overreacting, but the scary thought was I also might not be. I had to do something. She wasn’t listening to my warnings and now she could be in serious danger. I had failed before, but I wasn’t going to this time. This time I was going to keep my friend safe.

Even if it meant breaking my promise.

My mom was still watching me, her expression slowly turning concerned.

Hurriedly, I said, “No.” I took a step down the steps and then stopped again, ignoring the small wisp of guilt that curled in my stomach. “Sam isn’t here—she wasn’t here today. I don’t know where she is.”